Hobbies!

Hobby:  An activity done regularly in one's leisure time for pleasure.

If you ask most people they would tell you that my hobbies are Facebook and my kids.  And, to some degree, I think there is some truth to that (really, with the Facebook thing, more than some truth, it is my guilty pleasure!)  And I do love my kids, and would often choose to spend time with them over doing most other things. 

One of the things that I've realized this summer is that I do have hobbies outside of my kids and Facebook, but I just so rarely have leisure time that they often get neglected.  With the move to the new house (which results in some additional time in the day), and some time off from work (that I am really taking as time off and not thinking/ planning for the upcoming year...this is a move I will likely regret in about two weeks, but for now it is awesome!)  I have had some extra time in the last week.  And my 'old' hobbies have resurfaced... and they are sooo much fun.

I have spent the last two weeks doing needlepoint and reading books (AND hanging with my kids and trolling around Facebook, I mean I need to stay on top of all of my favorite things!).  I know, not hobbies that are overly exciting, but fun all the same and I am REALLY enjoying myself.

I picked out a needlepoint kit last year for Girly Girl's room.  It is a smaller kit that is a picture of koi fish that I promised her I would make for her room.  I started it last summer, but I didn't get very far.  In fact, I thought that I was going to have to give up needlepoint because my eyesight keeps deteriorating and it just seemed hard last summer (in hindsight, lots of things were hard last summer in the eyesight department- should have been a predictor of the fall eye appointment that was so disappointing).  This summer I realized that the key to needlepoint for me in my current eye situation is light (and when I say light, I mean like a 100 light bulb pointed directly at the canvas).  So... I have been working away and I think (hope) that I will be able to finish it before school starts!  What has been fun about this project is that I have gotten to teach a whole bunch of kids about needlepoint!  Kids just haven't seen people doing crafts like that- and so when I needlepoint at Little Man's swim lessons or on my couch when the kids have friends over playing- everyone is super interested and checks it out.  It's been fun to do a little teaching about something that seems like it is a lost art.

Books.  Well, what can I say?  I love to read.  Always have.  This summer I've found myself branching out a bit more.  Reading a little more non-fiction than in the past, a little more fiction out of my normal historical stuff.  And it has been fun.  I checked 5 books out of the library last week.  I didn't read all of them, but I skimmed them, read what I wanted, and I traded them in for seven new books today.  Something about getting older, something about not having a lot of time, has driven me to only read what I REALLY want to read, and not wasting time on books that aren't that interesting to me (and before anyone asks, no I have not read Shades of Grey... not avoiding it, just hasn't been available at the library and I'm too cheap to buy it). 

And although I left it off the list at the beginning of this post, I guess blogging counts as a hobby that I often don't have time for but really enjoy.  I miss writing.  I miss the outlet.  So, this is a fun summer distraction (although this post is coming out a bit choppy and disjointed.. must be out of practice). 

Anyway, I am enjoying my hobbies this summer.  And I'm hoping that I can hang on to them a little bit more during the school year this year as well (hey, a girl can dream, right?!?)

Good night.  I'm off to finish one of my new books.  :)
C

PS  This is post one for the July blogging challenge.  I am going to give it a shot.  I tried this in January, and although I didn't end up posting every day, I did end up posting way more often, so I figure it is a good idea.  HOWEVER, the theme is kids.  And today I did not (directly) blog about my kids.  Tomorrow is another day.  :)

Embracing Our New Life

As many of you know (or maybe don't know, but hey, go with it for a minute okay?) I dreamt (and fantasized) of moving closer to my work and the kids' school for a long time.  The Mr. and I talked about it many many times (this was pretty much our only date night/ alone time conversation for over six months).  We talked to friends, we talked to family, AND we talked to realtors (well, just one realtor, one amazing realtor, many many times).  In the end we decided...  despite the fact that it didn't make much financial sense, despite the fact that it was actually just a little bit nuts.... that we were going to GO FOR IT.  And we did.   And we waited and waited and waited and waited and changed our minds for a bit and then changed them back and then waited and waited and waited some more.  And then it happened.  It all happened.  FAST.  And then we were in the new house and it smelled (BAD) and the carpet was filthy and we couldn't unpack all of the boxes and there wasn't enough time in any day to do all the things we needed to do and it was the last few weeks of school and YEAH, did I mention that I decided to change jobs in the middle of it all??

And so, truthfully, I didn't REALLY get a chance to appreciate the change until the last few weeks.  I mean, of course I appreciated the change every time I needed to drive to work, or the kids had a school event, but it was all still caught up in the chaos of life.   Until, that is, this week.

This week has been amazing.  I am close enough to a friend from work to have company on my walks.  The kids are close to friends, which has translated to several playdates at our house, playdates at friends' houses, dinner out with friends and their parents, and this weekend, a sleepover at our house.  This is what I dreamt of... that idea of being PART of a community- connecting more with the kids' friends, their families, their lives.  In addition, I have had to work a few hours here and there this week and (although that was a bummer) it didn't totally disrupt our lives.  I didn't have to drive all the way across town for a one hour meeting, I just bopped up the street and then came home.  I love running into our kids' friends in restaurants, in movie theaters, pretty much everywhere we go.

So yeah, in the theme of this here little blog, I am EMBRACING our new life and our new home.  We may have a little less expendible cash these days, but it is totally worth it.  Wouldn't you agree??

:)  C

Time Flies....

When you move!

Yes, it's been a couple of months since I've been here (hang head, look at the ground sheepishly, and kick the ground with one foot) but I think I have a pretty good reason.... WE MOVED!

As you may remember, the Mr. and I have been trying to sell our home for MONTHS.  (if you are interested, you can go here and read the details in this post).  Surprisingly, shortly after writing the aforementioned post, we received an offer on our house.  Please note, the offer was not wonderful, but it was an OFFER and it allowed us to pretty much walk away from our beautiful house (seriously, our house was beautiful- especially now that I've seen what other houses look like!), so we decided that the moment had come and we took it!  Then... it dawned on us that we now had to find someplace to live- and fast.  We had 6 weeks to locate, inspect, purchase and move into a new home (as the Mr. was very clear that the moving thing was going to happen EXACTLY one time, no more, no less). 

We lucked out (or so we thought at the time) in locating a house in EXACTLY the neighborhood that we wanted, in EXACTLY the price range that we wanted, with EXACTLY the square footage that we wanted.  It EXACTLY did not have the pool that we desired, but we figured that we could put a pool in later if we so desired.  We made an offer.  And they accepted.  On Valentine's Day.  (How romantic!) 

What we didn't factor in this equation was the fact that we were buying a house from.... how can I say this... folks who maybe weren't the most stable folks to walk the face of the planet.  Which then resulted in me not being one of the most stable folks to walk the planet.

Anyway.... after many tears, stressed phone calls to the realtor (who was just awesome by the way), a  threatened phone call to the Maricopa County sheriff's office... the house was ours!  Yep.  The house was ours.  With it's lovely aroma (still not sure what the smell was all about, but I am making progress in eliminating it), it's broken garbage disposal, broken dishwasher, termites, disgusting carpet... and yeah, probably some more stuff that I still don't know about.  It was ours.

Despite all of it's issues, the house is 3 minutes from the kids' school.  4 minutes from my work.  In a lovely neighborhood, on a great street with nice neighbors.  It has a beautiful backyard with grass that the Girly Girl just loves (as does her guinea pig).  And the bones of the house are good.  So we are taking it one day at a time, one issue at a time.  Before you know it, it will be ours.  It will look (and smell) as beautiful as our last house.  I just need to hang on and be patient. 

And as my many friends have reminded me... it isn't the walls and the carpet and the 'stuff' that makes a home, it is the family that makes the home.  And we are definitely going to make a home here. 
We started that this weekend by celebrating our first holiday here.  Easter was amazing.  Different.  No photos of Girly Girl and Little Man in front of the lemon tree or by the fountain, not as many hiding spots for the Easter eggs, but still lots of love and fun and joy.  And that is what it is all about.

(And, one final note... ALWAYS buy the home warranty.  Ours has already paid for itself!) 

I promise to be around a bit more now that we are moved in (not settled by any means, but at least we are moved in!)

Happy Monday.
C

Frustrated...

So... feeling a little frustrated on this Sunday afternoon....

I just feel overwhelmed and I feel like there is never a break for the mom.  I did sleep in a little bit yesterday, but why is it that my 'me' time always ends up just being resting or sleeping so that I can function for the rest of the week?

I can't remember the last time I had time to just do something for myself.  Wander the mall.  Get a pedicure.  Even my last hair cut appointment (which is normally 'me' time) ended up with me having the kids there and helping them do their homework while the Drew (my wonderful and amazing hairdresser) was trying to work around them.  I'm even cancelling time with my friends either because I need to work or because I feel guilty because I've been at work and I should be at home.

I feel like I work.  And then I cook and clean.  And I keep the house ready to be shown.  And I sleep.  And maybe I watch some TV (mostly because I am too tired to do much of anything else). 

And then I repeat the above.

And I am grumpy.  (And then I grump at my kids and at my husband and at the whole world, which just adds to the joy of the whole situation)

So right now, I am going to cook some meals for the week.  And I am going to finish the work that I need to get done before tomorrow.  And then I might try to finish putting the laundry away and do a few other chores around the house (the guinea pig cage is waiting rather impatiently for me).  And then, just like usual, another weekend will have gone by where I have had not one minute to do anything that I really wanted to do.

I am trying to Embrace this part of my life, but I just feel like there isn't anything left of me to embrace anyone or anything.

I thought maybe writing this down would make it better, but.... not really.

Good night all.
C

Observation

Here's my observation of the day...

I don't think I'm meant to blog every day. 

Despite a challenge, despite my desires, despite my vows. 

It basically comes down to this horrible truth.  I'm just not this interesting.  My life is not this interesting.  I do have interesting MOMENTS... but not on a daily basis.

I go to work, I work hard, I parent, I cook meals, I help with homework, I read a little, I go to bed.  And then it starts all over again.  Sometimes this results in highly interesting and funny anecdotes.  Sometimes. 

Usually it results in one tired momma.  :)  And I'm tired of writing about being tired.

So, until I'm something OTHER than tired, I think I'm surrendering on the whole 'write every day' thing.  And EMBRACING the 'write when you have something interesting to say' thing.

Goodnight everybody.  Talk to you soon.  NOT tomorrow.  (unless something interesting happens).
C

Saying Goodnight

Ah... back to the world of the living.  The world of the normal.  Where I only worked like 12 hours today  (instead of 14 or 15).  Where there is wi-fi everywhere I go.  Ahhhh....

For the last eight weeks or so, life has been crazy.  And when I say crazy, I mean C-H-R-A-Z-E-E (Can you hear it?  Stretch the vowels out folks... we have been in the land of the insane).  Between the normal chaos of the Christmas season (presents to buy, crafts to make, foods to cook, choir concerts, end of the semester projects, etc, etc, etc), followed by our quick trip to California, followed by a return to work (and when I say return to work, I mean get slammed into the ground work until you drop), and THEN a trip to ShowLow to celebrate Second Christmas.... our lives have been overfilled, overscheduled and overworked.  Most of this (really and truly) most of it, has been positive and fun and good.  But....

As a result we let go of a few things.  We let go of having family dinners every night.  We ate in front of the TV rather than sitting at the table and talking to each other about our days.  We got in the habit of doing homework on the run, rather than sitting down and making sure the kids were giving it their full attention.  When we were at home, we were each in our own space, accomplishing the things that we each needed to get accomplished, rather than enjoying each other's company and being in the same space.  We were all getting through, enjoying the chaos, enjoying the fun times, but at the same time getting a little disconnected.

Today I decided I have had enough.  It's time to get settled again.  It's time to get back to who we are, to what we value, to the family that we should be.

I had to work late tonight (it's happening more and more and I've got to get a better handle on that as well, but one thing at at time..) but when I got home, I gave all of my attention to my family.  I talked with the Mr. about his day.  I made time to tuck each of the kids into bed.  To listen to them in an uninterrupted way for five minutes.  To love on them.  To kiss them and to tell them that they are the most important thing in my life.  I took the time to say goodnight.  The right way.  And it felt good.

We're back on track.  Yeah.

Good night all... hope you all took the time to say goodnight to the ones you love.
C

Dropping the Ball...

So much for my desire to blog EVERYDAY in the month of January.  So much for my goal and my determination to get back into this blogging thing with both feet, to write even when I don't feel like writing, to just EMBRACE the blog.

Here's what I'll say... it is extremely difficult to EMBRACE anything (let alone a blog where you want to write and post in a thoughtful way) when you are working 60 hours per week.  It then becomes even more difficult to EMBRACE blogging when you are on a family vacation (with 15 members of your husband's extended family) and there is no wi-fi in the rental house (I mean WTF?!?  What century are we in?  NO WI-FI?).

So... since I am currently sitting in a McDonalds and trying to finish quickly to return to said family vacation... I am letting you know that I did not die or drop off the face of the planet.  I am simply stuck between a week of work that could only been classified as hell and a family vacation that could be made much more pleasant if the darn house had wi-fi.

I'll catch you all on the flip side.
Hope all is well.
C

Embracing Me... Again...

Several posts ago, I alluded to the fact that I was going to get back on track with my food and exercise...

About five years ago I decided that it was time for a change. The babies weren't babies anymore.  I just just quit the most stressful job I had ever had (being an elementary school principal) and my husband and I had just recommitted to each other and to our marriage.  I was in a good place.  And I decided that I wanted ME back.   I joined Weight Watchers, started exercising regularly, and I started taking care of myself emotionally.  The result?  I lost about 40 pounds.

This is what I looked like at the beginning of that journey. (Note the defensive posture and the look of horror that the Mr. was actually taking a photo of ME!)

This is what I looked like once I'd lost the weight... (and yes, the Mr. and I had a great time on this trip to Vegas...)

Since I lost the weight, I have stayed pretty stable.  I've gone up or down a few pounds, but I've pretty much stayed at the same weight.  (Well, except for the 6 weeks that I was sick following our Puerto Vallerta trip... I got REALLY skinny then... and the winter following the Mr's surgery and my hysterectomy I got really NOT skinny.)  I kept my weight stable by watching what I ate (at least most of the time) and by running.

About a year ago, I started having problems with my back.  And the doctor said NO MORE RUNNING.  And after I got done crying about that... I decided it was probably worth it if it meant that my back would stop hurting (what I didn't realize was that it would take about 42 other things as well to make my back stop hurting, but that's another story...). 

Since then it's been a LOT harder to keep my weight in balance.  I have a trainer (and he's awesome) but I can't get there more than once a week (due to the other things that I have to do like be a mom, work full time and yes, write on this darling blog).  The Mr. was awesome and replaced my treadmill with an elliptical machine (but no matter how much I use it, it's just not the SAME as running) . I think running used to really give me a 'high' and I haven't found another cardio exercise that makes me feel the same.

Anyway, something that I recently realized is that I was 'this close' to giving up.  To just being a little heavier.  To just being at peace without having a lower percentage of body fat.  To just be a little more comfortable and wouldn't it be easier if I didn't watch what I ate and didn't have to exercise....

I felt that way for about two weeks.  And then everytime that I got dressed, everytime that I looked at myself in the mirror, I started feeling bad.  I started not liking myself very much.  I started dreading taking a shower.  And that's when I decided it was time to STOP and get back on track.

So today... I put a Weight Watcher's meeting on my calendar.  And I printed out the times that I can see my trainer and I put it my my computer so as I develop my schedule for each week I can make sure to fit in at LEAST one visit with the trainer (and wouldn't two be awesome?)  And I cleaned off the scale (Mr. had been doing a 'fix-it' project in the bathroom and had put his tools on it).  I got out my body fat/ BMI machine (yes, I have a little machine that I use to monitor this).  And finally, I watched my points.  I passed up the candy jar at work.  I drank a glass of skim milk.

Because I really do love who I am.  And I have redefined who I am to be someone who does exercise, who does eat right (most of the time) and who does EMBRACE me. 

Happy Monday everyone!
C



Feeling Lousy

I had a great Sunday with the family... but it's Sunday night, I am really tired and feeling lousy... so my blog post this evening is just a, yes, I AM still posting and staying on top of the blog challenge, but at the same time, I am listening to my body which is requesting some Tylenol, a warm bath, and my bed.

Happy Sunday everyone.  Hope you had a wonderful weekend.
C

Keeping Our Underwear Off the Floor

The Mr. and I have been trying to sell our home for the last 15 months.  Yes, 15 months.  (okay, actually that is not true, because I got totally fed up last spring and we took the house off of the market for about 4 months and I enjoyed being able to leave my underwear on the floor, but if you look at the original listing date till now it's been 15 months). 

A lot (I mean A LOT) of folks assume that our house is on the market because we are 'over our heads' or 'underwater' or 'just avoiding forclosure'.  But actually, (just for reference those of you who are so nosey and in our business) we are above water, making our payments just fine, and we figure if we stuck it out for a few more years, we would actually be able to recoup what we have put into the house. 

So why are selling you ask?  Because I was stupid.  Pretty much.  When we bought this house, my kids were little (Girly Girl was 3 and Little Man was 18 months old).  The Nana and The Papa were watching the kids for us, I was working as a principal, and the Mr. had an engineering job with a consulting firm.  Life was good.  And I couldn't see past what life was AT THAT MOMENT.  So, we bought a house that was close to The Nana and The Papa, a house in a great neighborhood except there weren't very many kids (it didn't matter because our kids weren't really old enough to need friends), a house that was right then, just right.

Fast forward.  Kids are now 9 and 11.  The Nana and The Papa have closed up their daycare shop.  I've left the principalship (a great decision for our family) and work at the district office for a mid-sized school district.  Mr. has changed jobs and now works for 'the man' (General Electrics).  And here's the kicker... I take the kids with me to my district every day to go to school.  30 minutes one way.  Mr. and I wanted to ensure that our kids had a great education, and we also wanted them to be close to us, so we decided that having them in my district (their school is half a mile from my office) was the best decision.  And for the first few years, this was perfect.  But now Girly Girl is getting older.  Friendships are becoming more important.  And she's about to.... enter MIDDLE SCHOOL.  (shudder).

And now, now my perfect house that fit us so well... just doesn't seem to fit anymore.  Kids have homework and sports and such and we waste amazing amounts of time in the car every day (and I am SO sick of the drive, not to mention the MILES on my car..).  Kids have established great friendships... with kids at their school.  This means that they only way they can have 'playdates' is with lots of parental involvement, prearrangement, and LOTS and LOTS of driving.  In addition, the space in the house is all put into the living areas, rather than the bedrooms (which wasn't a big deal when they were little because they always wanted to be with us) and they have tiny bedrooms that don't allow them to spread out very much.

I didn't plan ahead.  So here we sit.  And wait.  And keep our house immculate.  And make our beds every day and pick up the laundry every day and wipe down the kitchen counters every morning and never leave a mess (never ever leave a mess because that will be the one time that they come to show the house...).  We get decent traffic through the house- as I am writing this we have already had two showings this weekend and there are two more scheduled.  This is also a pain in the tushie.  To schedule our Saturdays around the showings... both of which today happened at mealtimes.  So... do you eat out?  Just let them see the house while you are eating dinner?   I know that when we have gone house hunting, I always hate to see the people who live there.  It makes me feel uncomfortable, it makes me feel like I am intruding.  So usually, we try to be 'gone'.   Lately 'gone' has translated to us driving down the street and sitting in our car reading books.  How sad is that?  And I have to admit that because we have had SO MANY showings... you just start to feel like the whole thing is hopeless and one more person is just going to walk through the house and not like it.  (And it's a beautiful home.. it really is... it is clean and well kept and has a great layout.  We've remodeled the kitchen, kept up with the yard... I love this house.)

Anyway, we are patiently waiting for the right person to buy our house.  I know that it will happen.  Someday.  I just hope it happens BEFORE our situation changes again....

Have a great Saturday...
C

InstaFriday

This is my first post at InstaFriday... here's some of the fun things that we did this week...

My mom gave me this donut maker for Christmas.  One of my memories of childhood was when my mom would use her own Sunbeam donut maker to make chocolate donuts for us when we were snowed in.  I was SO excited to get this... and I tried it out for the first time on New Year's Eve.  I used a recipe that I found on the internet... (Unfortunately... the donuts weren't that good.  Even my kids, who are usually REALLY into donuts just ate about 1/2 of a donut each... Little Man actually told me they were TOO chocolately.  I need to do more research....)

Here is the Mr. on New Year's Eve.  Yes, he is doing a puzzle.  It's a tradition in his family that the family receives a puzzle as a gift on Christmas. New Year's Eve was the first chance that he had (Translation... the first time since Christmas that I had cleaned off the dining room table so he had enough room to lay out all the pieces) to do the puzzle, and his Mom, Step-dad, sister and her boyfriend were over to lend puzzle expertise (Since I HATE puzzles, and despite the fact that I BUY this puzzle every year for the family, I NEVER participate in putting it together).

Here's the whole family right after the ball dropped on New Year's Eve.  It's fun to have kids old enough to make it to midnight (They actually made it way past midnight, but as soon as this picture was taken, I went to bed.  This momma is getting OLD).

Here's the Mr. and Little Man as they were heading out the door to Little Man's sleep study.  Nope, for those of you who are wondering, we haven't heard any results just yet (And yes, it is driving me crazy... but I'm trying hard to just roll with it and know that we will have the results soon).

Okay, I'm cheating a bit... this isn't an Instagram... but I didn't get to go to the sleep study with Little Man, and the Mr. refuses to use Instagram.. but here's Little Man attached to all the equipment for the sleep study.  (Can you imagine sleeping like that???)

And finally, Happy Friday.  It was a rough week.  We ended it at Red Robin (the kid's favorite) and I indulged in a lovely beverage.  (YUM!)

Happy InstaFriday everyone!

C

Off Kilter

Feeling a little off kilter today... And this would be a day when I normally would skip posting, but I have committed to the NabloPoMo challenge of writing a post every day in January(and I am super stubborn and unwilling to give up on only the 5th day of the month!).

Not sure exactly what brought on the mood that I'm in...

Maybe it's the fact that I'm rocking a massive sinus headache right now (I just took some Nyquil so I'm hoping that will quickly and effortlessly knock out whatever is brewing and I will feel all better tomorrow).

Maybe it's the fact that I have worked all week, but have accomplished very little (and thus know that I am staring down the barrel of a long weekend filled with the work that I didn't get done).

Maybe it's the fact that I am struggling with friendships right now. I seem to always be on the giving end of friendships. Always the one to do the inviting, always the one to initiate the 'how are you doing phone call or email'. Just always the one. And I kinda hate myself for being upset about that. I know I am a good friend, and it doesn't really matter who initiates things, but today I just wanted to feel a little sorry for myself about the current state of my friendships (or lack there of....).

Maybe it's the fact that although I am posting here regularly and have even gotten some nice comments that it doesn't yet feel like 'home' here (I miss my other blog, my other readers, and my higher level of traffic and hits each day. I mean I don't even post ther anymore and it still gets more hits per day than this new baby).

And maybe, just maybe it's the end of a long week post-vacation case of the January blues. I am sure I will get over it, but for now.... I'm gonna take my Nyquil high and head off to bed to get some sleep (and maybe, just maybe things will all look better in the morning).

Night all.
C

Returning to the Real World... One Toe at a Time

Our family returned to work and school yesterday. This was quite a rude awakening (A seriously rude awakening that was pretty much the equivalent of torture for this Momma.....)

First of all, we have all been off and home together since December 16th. And when I say all, I mean ALL, even the Mr. I don't think we have all been home and together that long since Little Man was born, Girlie Girl was a toddler, I was on maternity leave and the Mr. stayed home for a few weeks to ensure that I didn't lose my (freaking) mind. Since then I am pretty sure that the longest that the four of us have been home and together is four or five days. This led to me seeing our family unit as a whole... and I REALLY liked what I saw. We had fun together (well, except for those couple of times I almost strangled the children because they kept touching each other). Returning to work put an end to our togetherness time and I am not sure when we'll have that much time together again (plus I am afraid with Girlie Girl entering the tween years that when we do have the opportunity again, that she'll just hide in her room and avoid the stupidity of her parents).

Returning to work and school also means that we have to return to our 'normal' routines... things like figuring out who is driving the kids to school, who is picking the kids up, who is responsible for getting Girly Girl to choir and Little Man to swim. It means I am back to packing lunches and filling out field trip forms and and checking homework and helping Little Man study for his spelling tests. And although these things are lots of fun (um, yeah, whatever) they tend to eat into my 'lay on the coach and read my book' time, and my 'lay on the bed and watch Real Housewives' time. Quite unfortunate. This week has actually been kinda a nice transition back to these routines because the kids have had limited homework and I have had no night events or meetings (I work for a school district as a middle level administrator at the district office- this translates to lots of meetings after school hours when teachers are available). So, this week is pretty much like being on the on-ramp to the freeway and slowly gaining speed... We'll be hurling down the freeway at 85 miles an hour by the start of next week.

And finally, now that I'm at work, I feel like I should also return to eating right, working out and generally getting back on track on trying to be healthy. This is good since my pants are a bit tight, my face is broken out like I'm a teenager again, my elliptical has dust on it AND I think my trainer has forgotten my name. But (insert whine here) eating fried foods, chocolate, and practically everything that isn't tied down is really fun...

Combine all of these things together and it makes returning to the real world kinda like climbing into a pool of ice cold water. One toe at a time...

Night all.
C

Embracing EXHAUSTION

So, between not sleeping well last night because Little Man and the Mr. were not at home (and I never sleep well when one of my chicks is not in the nest, let alone two of my chicks AND one of them was having a medical test on top of that), AND because we all went back to work and school today after having more than two weeks off (two glorious weeks of spending time as a family and not thinking one iota about work- kinda regretted that today as I looked at my schedule for the next few weeks and realized just how much work I have to do... Sigh...). Needless to say I am totally exhausted tonight. Too tired to embrace anything other than my pillow. (much to the disappointment of the Mr.)

Night all. See you tomorrow (when I am hoping that my brain will be significantly less fuzzy than it has been all day today- I actually caught myself just staring blankly at my computer today-like I had forgotten how to use it!)

Have a great one...
C

In Search of Sleep....

Little Man (child #2, who is now 9 years old and not SO little anymore) has never slept through the night (yep, go back, re-read the sentence above, yes, he is NINE years old). I know, you think I am exaggerating, but seriously, this kid has NEVER slept through the night...

Little Man was breastfed (this momma was pretty dedicated to that, with both Girly-girl and Little Man) and this meant that of course, during those first few months of life, he didn't sleep through the night. This was pretty par for the course and matched our experience with Girly Girl so we didn't get too worried. Then I went back to work part time... and he (and Girly Girl of course) hung out with The Nana and The Papa (my parents)while I was at work. He was good with the bottle, even got some formula during this time (my job as an assistant principal was not what I would refer to as schedule or pump friendly), but he PREFERRED momma. And so, when I would come home from work he would latch on... and stay there until I went back to work the next day. I AM NOT joking. During this time, I chalked his wakeful nights up to his desire to be attached to me, and I rolled with it. He also slept in my bed (yes, I was one of THOSE moms.. but hey, every person has a breaking point and sleep deprivation is mine...).

I weaned Little Man at about eighteen months because of this lack of sleeping and his absolute DEMAND to nurse- whenever and where ever he wanted to- and if this demand was met with a no, or a maybe later, he would scream, kick, cry, and tantrum. It was SO pleasant for everyone around us. So, one day, after being at a friend's house and having him throw one of these all out ear-splitting, floor-shaking tantrums, I came home and told Mr. that I was done. I nursed Little Man that night, and then we never nursed again. And guess what. He didn't seem to care a bit (yep, that was one of those moments in motherhood where I figured out that THEY were now in charge and I needed to just surrender).

Once he was done nursing, we moved him into his own bed- hoping that this would help him sleep. We anticipated the normal and typical 'getting a kid to sleep in their own bed and sleep through the night' issues, but we had NO idea what the next few years would be like. At this time he shared a room with Girly Girl. Each night, we would tuck him in bed and he would go right to sleep. (Really, really. Sleep issues with this kid have NEVER been about FALLING asleep.) And he would sleep for a few hours and then he would move from his bed into his sister's bed and sleep there for awhile (until she had enough and kicked him out- did I mention that he kicks, flips, flops and snores?). Then he would move into our room and climb into our bed. This went on for awhile until he decided that his preferred position in our bed was to sleep sideways with his head resting on me and his feet resting on his dad. Needless to say, we decided that our bed would be 'off limits'. He was allowed to sleep on the floor next to my side of the bed, but he was not allowed to sleep in our bed. He continued to climb in bed with his sister, and she was fairly tolerant of that, and when she wasn't, he'd just sleep next to me.

Fast forward to age 8. He finally gave up sleeping on the floor next to our bed (around age 5) but he continued to climb into bed with Girly Girl (who at this time is 10). He will start every night in his own bed, in his own room (and yes, we have done all the 'make his room awesome' stuff- I have bought this kid more sheets and different pillows all in the search of the ones that 'feel right' than you can even imagine). But he's still bed hopping and still up at least once in the night, every night.

In addition, the snoring has now reached, shall we say, epic proportions. Like rock the house proportions. You can hear the kid snoring in practically every room of the house. He also got harder and harder to wake up on school days (not on the weekend though because you see on the weekend there is this magical thing called TELEVISION, that isn't allowed during the week. I'm surprised he doesn't set an alarm to get up earlier on the weekend!) All of this added up to a decision by the momma... a visit to the pediatrician.

The pediatrician agreed that having a 9 year old (he had his birthday while we were waiting for the appointment) that does not sleep through the night may not be the most normal thing (yeah, no shit Sherlock) and decided that he wanted to try some inhaled steroids and get a x-ray of Little Man's nose. So, I started shooting steroids up my son's nose on a nightly basis, and we got the x-ray. X-ray showed nothing. No blockage. No issues at all. (of course not, cause this is our family, why would it be the EASY thing?) Pediatrician now recommended a 'sleep study'. This did not rock Little Man's world in the least (thank goodness it was NOT Girly Girl that needed to do this as there would have been TOTAL meltdown today over not knowing every detail of what would happen). His only question was, "Can I sleep naked there?" (Um, no.)

That brings us to tonight. When Mr. and Little Man are about 20 minutes away at a sleep study center and Little Man is being hooked up to all kinds of monitoring equipment and will be heading to bed in just a little while. (and it's killing me to not be there, but I have neck and back issues and so it was an easy choice about which parent should spend the night sleeping on a cot at the sleep study place).

I am praying that there is NOTHING wrong with my Little Man, and yet at the same time I am praying that we figure out why the kid has never had a good night's sleep in his life. I know he is heading into the growth spurt years (if Girly Girl is any indication, Little Man will shortly begin eating everything that isn't tied down and will grow about 5 inches in the next two years) and I know for his body to do that he needs sleep. And lots of it.

So... cross your fingers for us that they find something VERY minor that is easily correctable and that Little Man will be EMBRACING sleep during 2012. (and think good thoughts for the Mr. who is stranded all night at the sleep study place with no TV and no X-Box and nothing to do...)

That's all for tonight... have a good one.
C

UPDATE:
Here's a photo of Little Man all wired up and ready to go... could you sleep with all of that attached to you? Sigh...

EMBRACE 2012!

I have read a lot of blogs recently (seemed like my cure for not blogging was to read other folks blogs... which just made me miss blogging even more... kinda defeated the purpose I think...) Anyway, I have read a lot of New Year's Resolutions, a lot of posts about 'I am going to have a better body, a better mind, a better life'. And yes, I think that I'd love to have a better body (more posts about this to come, I promise) and I am always trying to improve my mind (I might have to stop watching the Real Housewives shows-yes, I watch ALL of them- if I actually want that to happen), and I think we all desire a better life- one that is more than what we have... isn't that the human condition?

However, I think that I am going to opt out of the specific resolution making this year. I have made New Year's Resolutions in the past- it isn't that I'm anti-resolution, it's just that I do have short attention span (note the need to improve my mind) and I tend to not hold onto those resolutions for very long (either it's the mind thing or I am incredibly weak willed... you be the judge )

I am, however, going to follow the 'Word of the Year' trend and select a word that I am going to try to live and follow in the year 2012. See to me, this isn't about CHANGING necessarily or STOPPING of doing something (which most NY resolutions actually boil down to... the stopping of a negative habit) but rather the openness to trying to live life in a new way, a new way of seeing things, a new way to...

EMBRACE

That's my word. To EMBRACE- life, love, friendship, work, whatever comes my way during the next 366 days (yes, it IS leap year my friends...).

To EMBRACE me- the true me, the person who I am deep down inside that I don't always let out for fear of judgement or ridicule or even for fear of rocking the boat with my family or friends. Thus, my return to blogging even though I told my former readers that I was stopping (I am still not sure if this is wise or TOTALLY stupid and only time will tell. I showed my dear husband, we will refer to him as Mr. from here on out on this little blog... and he just shook his head. I don't think he thinks this is a good idea, but I don't think he has the heart to tell me not to do it, because he knows it means a lot to me).

I started 2012 by embracing me... in Target (because if you knew me, you would know that I have experienced most of life's epiphanies in an aisle in Target, like the day I told my mom that the Mr. and I had stopped using birth control prior to the birth of Little Dude- child #2. But I digress....). I embraced me... wait for it... in the contact paper aisle. Because you see, there are still rather odd folks like myself that line the shelves in their pantry with contact paper (we are a RARE breed). My pantry has needed new contact paper for like a year now, and I decided that the time had come to actually undertake this task (and clean out my pantry goods... I actually found something that expired in 2008!). As I stood in Target I examined the 4 choices of contact paper. Plain white. Tan with speckles. Plaid tan. And black and white bold patterned craziness. In the past, I would have chose the tan with speckles. It's a neutral. No one would notice it when they were in my pantry (cause there are normally SO MANY folks in my pantry). It would just blend in and be 'appropriate'. So, because it is 2012. Because I am EMBRACING. Because I am being me... I now have AWESOME black and white patterned contact paper for my pantry shelves. Because, you see, 2012 is about EMBRACING... me. :)

I now have the entire contents of my pantry strewn about my kitchen as I wait for the Mr. to help me with said contact paper (I may be the person who thinks that we NEED contact paper in the pantry, I may be the person who picked out the crazy black and white contact paper, but I am NOT the person to measure and install said contact paper because I'm embracing fun, not totally crazy with all the seams crooked and contact paper running up the wall) so I should close up and actually be productive.

Hope your first day of 2012 is going well and that you are EMBRACING you!
C