Frustrated...

So... feeling a little frustrated on this Sunday afternoon....

I just feel overwhelmed and I feel like there is never a break for the mom.  I did sleep in a little bit yesterday, but why is it that my 'me' time always ends up just being resting or sleeping so that I can function for the rest of the week?

I can't remember the last time I had time to just do something for myself.  Wander the mall.  Get a pedicure.  Even my last hair cut appointment (which is normally 'me' time) ended up with me having the kids there and helping them do their homework while the Drew (my wonderful and amazing hairdresser) was trying to work around them.  I'm even cancelling time with my friends either because I need to work or because I feel guilty because I've been at work and I should be at home.

I feel like I work.  And then I cook and clean.  And I keep the house ready to be shown.  And I sleep.  And maybe I watch some TV (mostly because I am too tired to do much of anything else). 

And then I repeat the above.

And I am grumpy.  (And then I grump at my kids and at my husband and at the whole world, which just adds to the joy of the whole situation)

So right now, I am going to cook some meals for the week.  And I am going to finish the work that I need to get done before tomorrow.  And then I might try to finish putting the laundry away and do a few other chores around the house (the guinea pig cage is waiting rather impatiently for me).  And then, just like usual, another weekend will have gone by where I have had not one minute to do anything that I really wanted to do.

I am trying to Embrace this part of my life, but I just feel like there isn't anything left of me to embrace anyone or anything.

I thought maybe writing this down would make it better, but.... not really.

Good night all.
C

Saying Goodnight

Ah... back to the world of the living.  The world of the normal.  Where I only worked like 12 hours today  (instead of 14 or 15).  Where there is wi-fi everywhere I go.  Ahhhh....

For the last eight weeks or so, life has been crazy.  And when I say crazy, I mean C-H-R-A-Z-E-E (Can you hear it?  Stretch the vowels out folks... we have been in the land of the insane).  Between the normal chaos of the Christmas season (presents to buy, crafts to make, foods to cook, choir concerts, end of the semester projects, etc, etc, etc), followed by our quick trip to California, followed by a return to work (and when I say return to work, I mean get slammed into the ground work until you drop), and THEN a trip to ShowLow to celebrate Second Christmas.... our lives have been overfilled, overscheduled and overworked.  Most of this (really and truly) most of it, has been positive and fun and good.  But....

As a result we let go of a few things.  We let go of having family dinners every night.  We ate in front of the TV rather than sitting at the table and talking to each other about our days.  We got in the habit of doing homework on the run, rather than sitting down and making sure the kids were giving it their full attention.  When we were at home, we were each in our own space, accomplishing the things that we each needed to get accomplished, rather than enjoying each other's company and being in the same space.  We were all getting through, enjoying the chaos, enjoying the fun times, but at the same time getting a little disconnected.

Today I decided I have had enough.  It's time to get settled again.  It's time to get back to who we are, to what we value, to the family that we should be.

I had to work late tonight (it's happening more and more and I've got to get a better handle on that as well, but one thing at at time..) but when I got home, I gave all of my attention to my family.  I talked with the Mr. about his day.  I made time to tuck each of the kids into bed.  To listen to them in an uninterrupted way for five minutes.  To love on them.  To kiss them and to tell them that they are the most important thing in my life.  I took the time to say goodnight.  The right way.  And it felt good.

We're back on track.  Yeah.

Good night all... hope you all took the time to say goodnight to the ones you love.
C

Dropping the Ball...

So much for my desire to blog EVERYDAY in the month of January.  So much for my goal and my determination to get back into this blogging thing with both feet, to write even when I don't feel like writing, to just EMBRACE the blog.

Here's what I'll say... it is extremely difficult to EMBRACE anything (let alone a blog where you want to write and post in a thoughtful way) when you are working 60 hours per week.  It then becomes even more difficult to EMBRACE blogging when you are on a family vacation (with 15 members of your husband's extended family) and there is no wi-fi in the rental house (I mean WTF?!?  What century are we in?  NO WI-FI?).

So... since I am currently sitting in a McDonalds and trying to finish quickly to return to said family vacation... I am letting you know that I did not die or drop off the face of the planet.  I am simply stuck between a week of work that could only been classified as hell and a family vacation that could be made much more pleasant if the darn house had wi-fi.

I'll catch you all on the flip side.
Hope all is well.
C

Keeping Our Underwear Off the Floor

The Mr. and I have been trying to sell our home for the last 15 months.  Yes, 15 months.  (okay, actually that is not true, because I got totally fed up last spring and we took the house off of the market for about 4 months and I enjoyed being able to leave my underwear on the floor, but if you look at the original listing date till now it's been 15 months). 

A lot (I mean A LOT) of folks assume that our house is on the market because we are 'over our heads' or 'underwater' or 'just avoiding forclosure'.  But actually, (just for reference those of you who are so nosey and in our business) we are above water, making our payments just fine, and we figure if we stuck it out for a few more years, we would actually be able to recoup what we have put into the house. 

So why are selling you ask?  Because I was stupid.  Pretty much.  When we bought this house, my kids were little (Girly Girl was 3 and Little Man was 18 months old).  The Nana and The Papa were watching the kids for us, I was working as a principal, and the Mr. had an engineering job with a consulting firm.  Life was good.  And I couldn't see past what life was AT THAT MOMENT.  So, we bought a house that was close to The Nana and The Papa, a house in a great neighborhood except there weren't very many kids (it didn't matter because our kids weren't really old enough to need friends), a house that was right then, just right.

Fast forward.  Kids are now 9 and 11.  The Nana and The Papa have closed up their daycare shop.  I've left the principalship (a great decision for our family) and work at the district office for a mid-sized school district.  Mr. has changed jobs and now works for 'the man' (General Electrics).  And here's the kicker... I take the kids with me to my district every day to go to school.  30 minutes one way.  Mr. and I wanted to ensure that our kids had a great education, and we also wanted them to be close to us, so we decided that having them in my district (their school is half a mile from my office) was the best decision.  And for the first few years, this was perfect.  But now Girly Girl is getting older.  Friendships are becoming more important.  And she's about to.... enter MIDDLE SCHOOL.  (shudder).

And now, now my perfect house that fit us so well... just doesn't seem to fit anymore.  Kids have homework and sports and such and we waste amazing amounts of time in the car every day (and I am SO sick of the drive, not to mention the MILES on my car..).  Kids have established great friendships... with kids at their school.  This means that they only way they can have 'playdates' is with lots of parental involvement, prearrangement, and LOTS and LOTS of driving.  In addition, the space in the house is all put into the living areas, rather than the bedrooms (which wasn't a big deal when they were little because they always wanted to be with us) and they have tiny bedrooms that don't allow them to spread out very much.

I didn't plan ahead.  So here we sit.  And wait.  And keep our house immculate.  And make our beds every day and pick up the laundry every day and wipe down the kitchen counters every morning and never leave a mess (never ever leave a mess because that will be the one time that they come to show the house...).  We get decent traffic through the house- as I am writing this we have already had two showings this weekend and there are two more scheduled.  This is also a pain in the tushie.  To schedule our Saturdays around the showings... both of which today happened at mealtimes.  So... do you eat out?  Just let them see the house while you are eating dinner?   I know that when we have gone house hunting, I always hate to see the people who live there.  It makes me feel uncomfortable, it makes me feel like I am intruding.  So usually, we try to be 'gone'.   Lately 'gone' has translated to us driving down the street and sitting in our car reading books.  How sad is that?  And I have to admit that because we have had SO MANY showings... you just start to feel like the whole thing is hopeless and one more person is just going to walk through the house and not like it.  (And it's a beautiful home.. it really is... it is clean and well kept and has a great layout.  We've remodeled the kitchen, kept up with the yard... I love this house.)

Anyway, we are patiently waiting for the right person to buy our house.  I know that it will happen.  Someday.  I just hope it happens BEFORE our situation changes again....

Have a great Saturday...
C

InstaFriday

This is my first post at InstaFriday... here's some of the fun things that we did this week...

My mom gave me this donut maker for Christmas.  One of my memories of childhood was when my mom would use her own Sunbeam donut maker to make chocolate donuts for us when we were snowed in.  I was SO excited to get this... and I tried it out for the first time on New Year's Eve.  I used a recipe that I found on the internet... (Unfortunately... the donuts weren't that good.  Even my kids, who are usually REALLY into donuts just ate about 1/2 of a donut each... Little Man actually told me they were TOO chocolately.  I need to do more research....)

Here is the Mr. on New Year's Eve.  Yes, he is doing a puzzle.  It's a tradition in his family that the family receives a puzzle as a gift on Christmas. New Year's Eve was the first chance that he had (Translation... the first time since Christmas that I had cleaned off the dining room table so he had enough room to lay out all the pieces) to do the puzzle, and his Mom, Step-dad, sister and her boyfriend were over to lend puzzle expertise (Since I HATE puzzles, and despite the fact that I BUY this puzzle every year for the family, I NEVER participate in putting it together).

Here's the whole family right after the ball dropped on New Year's Eve.  It's fun to have kids old enough to make it to midnight (They actually made it way past midnight, but as soon as this picture was taken, I went to bed.  This momma is getting OLD).

Here's the Mr. and Little Man as they were heading out the door to Little Man's sleep study.  Nope, for those of you who are wondering, we haven't heard any results just yet (And yes, it is driving me crazy... but I'm trying hard to just roll with it and know that we will have the results soon).

Okay, I'm cheating a bit... this isn't an Instagram... but I didn't get to go to the sleep study with Little Man, and the Mr. refuses to use Instagram.. but here's Little Man attached to all the equipment for the sleep study.  (Can you imagine sleeping like that???)

And finally, Happy Friday.  It was a rough week.  We ended it at Red Robin (the kid's favorite) and I indulged in a lovely beverage.  (YUM!)

Happy InstaFriday everyone!

C