Saying Goodnight

Ah... back to the world of the living.  The world of the normal.  Where I only worked like 12 hours today  (instead of 14 or 15).  Where there is wi-fi everywhere I go.  Ahhhh....

For the last eight weeks or so, life has been crazy.  And when I say crazy, I mean C-H-R-A-Z-E-E (Can you hear it?  Stretch the vowels out folks... we have been in the land of the insane).  Between the normal chaos of the Christmas season (presents to buy, crafts to make, foods to cook, choir concerts, end of the semester projects, etc, etc, etc), followed by our quick trip to California, followed by a return to work (and when I say return to work, I mean get slammed into the ground work until you drop), and THEN a trip to ShowLow to celebrate Second Christmas.... our lives have been overfilled, overscheduled and overworked.  Most of this (really and truly) most of it, has been positive and fun and good.  But....

As a result we let go of a few things.  We let go of having family dinners every night.  We ate in front of the TV rather than sitting at the table and talking to each other about our days.  We got in the habit of doing homework on the run, rather than sitting down and making sure the kids were giving it their full attention.  When we were at home, we were each in our own space, accomplishing the things that we each needed to get accomplished, rather than enjoying each other's company and being in the same space.  We were all getting through, enjoying the chaos, enjoying the fun times, but at the same time getting a little disconnected.

Today I decided I have had enough.  It's time to get settled again.  It's time to get back to who we are, to what we value, to the family that we should be.

I had to work late tonight (it's happening more and more and I've got to get a better handle on that as well, but one thing at at time..) but when I got home, I gave all of my attention to my family.  I talked with the Mr. about his day.  I made time to tuck each of the kids into bed.  To listen to them in an uninterrupted way for five minutes.  To love on them.  To kiss them and to tell them that they are the most important thing in my life.  I took the time to say goodnight.  The right way.  And it felt good.

We're back on track.  Yeah.

Good night all... hope you all took the time to say goodnight to the ones you love.
C

Dropping the Ball...

So much for my desire to blog EVERYDAY in the month of January.  So much for my goal and my determination to get back into this blogging thing with both feet, to write even when I don't feel like writing, to just EMBRACE the blog.

Here's what I'll say... it is extremely difficult to EMBRACE anything (let alone a blog where you want to write and post in a thoughtful way) when you are working 60 hours per week.  It then becomes even more difficult to EMBRACE blogging when you are on a family vacation (with 15 members of your husband's extended family) and there is no wi-fi in the rental house (I mean WTF?!?  What century are we in?  NO WI-FI?).

So... since I am currently sitting in a McDonalds and trying to finish quickly to return to said family vacation... I am letting you know that I did not die or drop off the face of the planet.  I am simply stuck between a week of work that could only been classified as hell and a family vacation that could be made much more pleasant if the darn house had wi-fi.

I'll catch you all on the flip side.
Hope all is well.
C

Keeping Our Underwear Off the Floor

The Mr. and I have been trying to sell our home for the last 15 months.  Yes, 15 months.  (okay, actually that is not true, because I got totally fed up last spring and we took the house off of the market for about 4 months and I enjoyed being able to leave my underwear on the floor, but if you look at the original listing date till now it's been 15 months). 

A lot (I mean A LOT) of folks assume that our house is on the market because we are 'over our heads' or 'underwater' or 'just avoiding forclosure'.  But actually, (just for reference those of you who are so nosey and in our business) we are above water, making our payments just fine, and we figure if we stuck it out for a few more years, we would actually be able to recoup what we have put into the house. 

So why are selling you ask?  Because I was stupid.  Pretty much.  When we bought this house, my kids were little (Girly Girl was 3 and Little Man was 18 months old).  The Nana and The Papa were watching the kids for us, I was working as a principal, and the Mr. had an engineering job with a consulting firm.  Life was good.  And I couldn't see past what life was AT THAT MOMENT.  So, we bought a house that was close to The Nana and The Papa, a house in a great neighborhood except there weren't very many kids (it didn't matter because our kids weren't really old enough to need friends), a house that was right then, just right.

Fast forward.  Kids are now 9 and 11.  The Nana and The Papa have closed up their daycare shop.  I've left the principalship (a great decision for our family) and work at the district office for a mid-sized school district.  Mr. has changed jobs and now works for 'the man' (General Electrics).  And here's the kicker... I take the kids with me to my district every day to go to school.  30 minutes one way.  Mr. and I wanted to ensure that our kids had a great education, and we also wanted them to be close to us, so we decided that having them in my district (their school is half a mile from my office) was the best decision.  And for the first few years, this was perfect.  But now Girly Girl is getting older.  Friendships are becoming more important.  And she's about to.... enter MIDDLE SCHOOL.  (shudder).

And now, now my perfect house that fit us so well... just doesn't seem to fit anymore.  Kids have homework and sports and such and we waste amazing amounts of time in the car every day (and I am SO sick of the drive, not to mention the MILES on my car..).  Kids have established great friendships... with kids at their school.  This means that they only way they can have 'playdates' is with lots of parental involvement, prearrangement, and LOTS and LOTS of driving.  In addition, the space in the house is all put into the living areas, rather than the bedrooms (which wasn't a big deal when they were little because they always wanted to be with us) and they have tiny bedrooms that don't allow them to spread out very much.

I didn't plan ahead.  So here we sit.  And wait.  And keep our house immculate.  And make our beds every day and pick up the laundry every day and wipe down the kitchen counters every morning and never leave a mess (never ever leave a mess because that will be the one time that they come to show the house...).  We get decent traffic through the house- as I am writing this we have already had two showings this weekend and there are two more scheduled.  This is also a pain in the tushie.  To schedule our Saturdays around the showings... both of which today happened at mealtimes.  So... do you eat out?  Just let them see the house while you are eating dinner?   I know that when we have gone house hunting, I always hate to see the people who live there.  It makes me feel uncomfortable, it makes me feel like I am intruding.  So usually, we try to be 'gone'.   Lately 'gone' has translated to us driving down the street and sitting in our car reading books.  How sad is that?  And I have to admit that because we have had SO MANY showings... you just start to feel like the whole thing is hopeless and one more person is just going to walk through the house and not like it.  (And it's a beautiful home.. it really is... it is clean and well kept and has a great layout.  We've remodeled the kitchen, kept up with the yard... I love this house.)

Anyway, we are patiently waiting for the right person to buy our house.  I know that it will happen.  Someday.  I just hope it happens BEFORE our situation changes again....

Have a great Saturday...
C

Off Kilter

Feeling a little off kilter today... And this would be a day when I normally would skip posting, but I have committed to the NabloPoMo challenge of writing a post every day in January(and I am super stubborn and unwilling to give up on only the 5th day of the month!).

Not sure exactly what brought on the mood that I'm in...

Maybe it's the fact that I'm rocking a massive sinus headache right now (I just took some Nyquil so I'm hoping that will quickly and effortlessly knock out whatever is brewing and I will feel all better tomorrow).

Maybe it's the fact that I have worked all week, but have accomplished very little (and thus know that I am staring down the barrel of a long weekend filled with the work that I didn't get done).

Maybe it's the fact that I am struggling with friendships right now. I seem to always be on the giving end of friendships. Always the one to do the inviting, always the one to initiate the 'how are you doing phone call or email'. Just always the one. And I kinda hate myself for being upset about that. I know I am a good friend, and it doesn't really matter who initiates things, but today I just wanted to feel a little sorry for myself about the current state of my friendships (or lack there of....).

Maybe it's the fact that although I am posting here regularly and have even gotten some nice comments that it doesn't yet feel like 'home' here (I miss my other blog, my other readers, and my higher level of traffic and hits each day. I mean I don't even post ther anymore and it still gets more hits per day than this new baby).

And maybe, just maybe it's the end of a long week post-vacation case of the January blues. I am sure I will get over it, but for now.... I'm gonna take my Nyquil high and head off to bed to get some sleep (and maybe, just maybe things will all look better in the morning).

Night all.
C

Returning to the Real World... One Toe at a Time

Our family returned to work and school yesterday. This was quite a rude awakening (A seriously rude awakening that was pretty much the equivalent of torture for this Momma.....)

First of all, we have all been off and home together since December 16th. And when I say all, I mean ALL, even the Mr. I don't think we have all been home and together that long since Little Man was born, Girlie Girl was a toddler, I was on maternity leave and the Mr. stayed home for a few weeks to ensure that I didn't lose my (freaking) mind. Since then I am pretty sure that the longest that the four of us have been home and together is four or five days. This led to me seeing our family unit as a whole... and I REALLY liked what I saw. We had fun together (well, except for those couple of times I almost strangled the children because they kept touching each other). Returning to work put an end to our togetherness time and I am not sure when we'll have that much time together again (plus I am afraid with Girlie Girl entering the tween years that when we do have the opportunity again, that she'll just hide in her room and avoid the stupidity of her parents).

Returning to work and school also means that we have to return to our 'normal' routines... things like figuring out who is driving the kids to school, who is picking the kids up, who is responsible for getting Girly Girl to choir and Little Man to swim. It means I am back to packing lunches and filling out field trip forms and and checking homework and helping Little Man study for his spelling tests. And although these things are lots of fun (um, yeah, whatever) they tend to eat into my 'lay on the coach and read my book' time, and my 'lay on the bed and watch Real Housewives' time. Quite unfortunate. This week has actually been kinda a nice transition back to these routines because the kids have had limited homework and I have had no night events or meetings (I work for a school district as a middle level administrator at the district office- this translates to lots of meetings after school hours when teachers are available). So, this week is pretty much like being on the on-ramp to the freeway and slowly gaining speed... We'll be hurling down the freeway at 85 miles an hour by the start of next week.

And finally, now that I'm at work, I feel like I should also return to eating right, working out and generally getting back on track on trying to be healthy. This is good since my pants are a bit tight, my face is broken out like I'm a teenager again, my elliptical has dust on it AND I think my trainer has forgotten my name. But (insert whine here) eating fried foods, chocolate, and practically everything that isn't tied down is really fun...

Combine all of these things together and it makes returning to the real world kinda like climbing into a pool of ice cold water. One toe at a time...

Night all.
C

Embracing EXHAUSTION

So, between not sleeping well last night because Little Man and the Mr. were not at home (and I never sleep well when one of my chicks is not in the nest, let alone two of my chicks AND one of them was having a medical test on top of that), AND because we all went back to work and school today after having more than two weeks off (two glorious weeks of spending time as a family and not thinking one iota about work- kinda regretted that today as I looked at my schedule for the next few weeks and realized just how much work I have to do... Sigh...). Needless to say I am totally exhausted tonight. Too tired to embrace anything other than my pillow. (much to the disappointment of the Mr.)

Night all. See you tomorrow (when I am hoping that my brain will be significantly less fuzzy than it has been all day today- I actually caught myself just staring blankly at my computer today-like I had forgotten how to use it!)

Have a great one...
C