About five years ago I decided that it was time for a change. The babies weren't babies anymore. I just just quit the most stressful job I had ever had (being an elementary school principal) and my husband and I had just recommitted to each other and to our marriage. I was in a good place. And I decided that I wanted ME back. I joined Weight Watchers, started exercising regularly, and I started taking care of myself emotionally. The result? I lost about 40 pounds.
This is what I looked like at the beginning of that journey. (Note the defensive posture and the look of horror that the Mr. was actually taking a photo of ME!)
This is what I looked like once I'd lost the weight... (and yes, the Mr. and I had a great time on this trip to Vegas...)
Since I lost the weight, I have stayed pretty stable. I've gone up or down a few pounds, but I've pretty much stayed at the same weight. (Well, except for the 6 weeks that I was sick following our Puerto Vallerta trip... I got REALLY skinny then... and the winter following the Mr's surgery and my hysterectomy I got really NOT skinny.) I kept my weight stable by watching what I ate (at least most of the time) and by running.
About a year ago, I started having problems with my back. And the doctor said NO MORE RUNNING. And after I got done crying about that... I decided it was probably worth it if it meant that my back would stop hurting (what I didn't realize was that it would take about 42 other things as well to make my back stop hurting, but that's another story...).
Since then it's been a LOT harder to keep my weight in balance. I have a trainer (and he's awesome) but I can't get there more than once a week (due to the other things that I have to do like be a mom, work full time and yes, write on this darling blog). The Mr. was awesome and replaced my treadmill with an elliptical machine (but no matter how much I use it, it's just not the SAME as running) . I think running used to really give me a 'high' and I haven't found another cardio exercise that makes me feel the same.
Anyway, something that I recently realized is that I was 'this close' to giving up. To just being a little heavier. To just being at peace without having a lower percentage of body fat. To just be a little more comfortable and wouldn't it be easier if I didn't watch what I ate and didn't have to exercise....
I felt that way for about two weeks. And then everytime that I got dressed, everytime that I looked at myself in the mirror, I started feeling bad. I started not liking myself very much. I started dreading taking a shower. And that's when I decided it was time to STOP and get back on track.
So today... I put a Weight Watcher's meeting on my calendar. And I printed out the times that I can see my trainer and I put it my my computer so as I develop my schedule for each week I can make sure to fit in at LEAST one visit with the trainer (and wouldn't two be awesome?) And I cleaned off the scale (Mr. had been doing a 'fix-it' project in the bathroom and had put his tools on it). I got out my body fat/ BMI machine (yes, I have a little machine that I use to monitor this). And finally, I watched my points. I passed up the candy jar at work. I drank a glass of skim milk.
Because I really do love who I am. And I have redefined who I am to be someone who does exercise, who does eat right (most of the time) and who does EMBRACE me.
Happy Monday everyone!